FLASH FICTION CHALLENGE: EROTIC VAMPIRE DISASTER PORN

WARNING: The following blog post may contain strong language and imagery that may not be suitable for, well, anyone.


This blog post/story is my response to Chuck Wendig’s FLASH FICTION CHALLENGE: THE SUBGENRE BLENDER. The challenge was to pick two subgenres at random and write a story that blended together both subgenre conventions. I rolled Vampire Erotica and Disaster Porn. I tried my best.


Deep Impact Vampirette 2

Deeply Impacting Vampiretta

Hundreds of bright orange streaks filled the dawn sky as the first meteors started to fall to earth. For now, they would land safely in the Atlantic ocean; but soon they would start peppering the cities on the East Coast of North America. Worse, they were just harbingers for what was to come.

Less than 24 hours ago, NASA had identified an extremely large object moving on a direct collision path with earth. Early estimates placed it a ~8 miles in diameter, and it appeared to be accompanied with a huge amount of smaller debris. Debris which has now started to pepper the planet’s skies.

Given the suddenness of with the massive meteoroid arrival, the public had not yet been briefed on what was happening. But that as about to change. Clearing his throat, President Richard Alexander Hardwood looked over the press assembled in the rose garden and began, “My fellow Americans, holy shit.”

Looking up, the President saw a bright ball of fire hurling seemingly directly for the assembled press. Everyone turned their eyes (and cameras) to the sky to find out what had caused the president’s sudden exclamation. Before anyone could react, the object hurtling towards them crashed into the press corp, violently splattering blood and gore across the lawn.

On top of the now pulped Press Corps sat a shiny, silver disk. Standing at about two stories high, it filled up the majority of the clearing. A small section of the bottom part of the unidentified fallen object lowered itself down to the ground with a wet squelch and a humanoid figure exited the ship. The being appeared to be a little over six feet tall and covered from head to foot in a glistening white carapace. On its head, it appeared to have a singular, massive golden eye.

As the Secret Service started to spring into action, the President motioned for them to stand down. “Stop. We’re already facing an extinction level event. Whether I die now or in a few hours, it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference.”

Turning to face the unexpected guest, the President spread his arms open, palms up, and said, “Welcome to Earth. I’m Richard Alexander Hardwood, president of the-”

A loud hissing interrupted the President. With an audible click, the golden visor of space suit snapped open revealing a human-looking face inside. Turning around almost immediately, the crash-lander started to head back into her ship. Calling back to the President, she said simply, “If you want to live, leave your friends here and come inside. You must come alone.”


The President wasted no time making his way into the ship. The inside of craft was actually rather small. Outside of the entrance way they had just used, the entire ship appeared to consist of a roughly two meter wide room. With the exception of the ship’s exit, and small compartment the interloper opened, the entire room was completely round. The silvery walls were pleasantly warm and smooth to the touch.

“I’m Vampiretta Dracula, daughter of Vlad Dracula.” she stated plainly. As she removed her suit, she exposed the naked flesh of the woman underneath. Literally statuesque, Vampiretta could have easily been mistaken for the statue of an ancient Greek goddess. The woman appeared tall, athletic, and youthful. Her bare skin glowed as bright and white and cold as marble, and her long black hair was carefully plaited and pulled up into a bun.

From the nose down, Vampiretta’s lithe body was smooth and utterly hairless. Even though the potential end of the world was fast approaching, Richard took his time gazing over the unabashedly nude woman in front of him. When his eyes rose to her unheaving chest, he smirked and commented to himself, “Well, almost. A bit large for-”

“You’re hurt,” Vampiretta interjected. Her neutral grey eyes were fixed on Richard’s finger. A tiny, scarlet drop of blood had formed on his finger. Looking down, he waved it off with his other hand. “It’s nothing. I think-”

Before the man could finish his sentence, the young woman was kneeing down in front of him. “Why don’t you let me take a look at that?” she cooed, gaze still focused on the tiny, shimmering droplet of blood oozing from his finger tip. It was not even the size of the head of a pin, but demanded all of the woman’s attention.

“Can I suck you?” she asks, with a note of desperate yearning in her voice. “My people’s saliva has minor healing properties.”

Richard stood there and looked down at the woman kneeling in front of him, seemingly unaware of the massive budge growing in his pants, inches away from her face. “S-s-sure…” he managed to stammer.

Looking up at the man and into his eyes for the first time, her intense ruby lips break into a wide smile showing her –

“Fangs!” he exclaimed. He tried to pull his hand back, but she held it firmly. Leaning forward, she ran her long tongue slowly up and down his weeping digit. Every where her soft, cool, wet tongue trailed, his skin tingled. Gripping firmly down around the base of his finger, she squeezed it several times and worked her way up along its slicked length.

Now tipped with a small smear of warm, sticky fluid; the tingling sensation in the man’s pointer became more intense. Still smiling and keeping eye contact with the man, Vampiretta leaned forward and slid his extremity in between her soft lips and into her wet embrace of her mouth. After a small bit of suction, Richard felt her tongue finally meet his tiny, oozing hole and an electric jolt ripped through him.

Sitting back on her haunches, Vampiretta licked her lips and looked up at the president. “So, do you want me to take you on a guided tour of the end of your world?”


The flying sauce hung suspended in the air while fiery hail fell around it. Richard had learned that the ship responded to voice commands, one of which projected a display of everything going on outside of the ship on the round walls of the interior.

“It’s like I’m flying.” Richard whispered.

“Not like. Are.” Vampiretta corrected. “Oh, look over there. There goes the your house.”

A large meteor violently ripped through the White House, utterly obliterating it. Showers of wooden, metal, and glass splinters were thrown outward in every direction, leaving nothing but a giant, smoldering crater where the head of the nation once lived. Not too far away, they could see the Washington Monument having been pummeled by many tiny meteors. No longer able to support itself after the intense beating, the towering, white erection eventually collapsed.

Even in all this chaos, there were still individuals outside and unprotected on the Mall. As the Washington Monument fell, a couple and their young children attempted to flee. Running away under the shadow of the toppling monument, they were eventually squashed.

For hours, Vampiretta watched Richard while he watched hot death rained down on all the buildings he knew and loved.

The Lincoln Memorial – gone.

The Jefferson Memorial – gone.

The Pentagon – gone.

Both houses of Congress – gone.

Looking down at the giant hole that used to be the Senate, he smiled a bit. “I guess we did need more funding for government programs – like NASA, didn’t we?”


“Oh, here’s the big one,” Vampiretta pipped, pointing upward towards the sky. The giant, 8 mile wide meteor had hit the atmosphere and was now finally falling to Earth. Sparking and glowering, it almost looked like a small demonic sun as it tore through the sky. In what felt like a blink of an eye, it made landfall. Even though they were protected in Vampiretta’s ship, they could still feel the force of the impact rock the ship. Giant clouds of dust and smoke filled the sky, which made it impossible to see what was going on down below.

With nothing left to watch, Richard turned to the young woman next to him and asked. “What now?”

Vampiretta shrugged. “Now that Earth’s atmosphere is filling with debris and becoming opaque, Deimos will crack open. The vampires inside will poor forth and tame humanity.”

Richard looked at the woman and shook his head. “What?”

“Deimos, the moon of ours we hurled at your planet, is a filled with members of my species. They should have survived impact, and should now be working on rounding up and taming humanity for feedstock.”

Richard just stood there speechless for several moments before continuing. “Why?”

“For years you’ve been probing us with robots. I mean, it was only a matter of time before you figured out there was life on Mars. And if you found out we were vampires… well…” she says with a shrug. “We’ve been watching you for thousands of years. There’s basically two ways you would react upon first contact. Either you’d try to kill us all, or you’d end up throwing yourself at our feet and begging for us to devour you. So, we decided to try to move first – hopefully killing the violent ones first and collecting the submissive as livestock or pets.”

“What-wait. Why me?” he asked.

“I’ve never met a human before, but I have read your literature. And there’s one part of the body that’s always described so vividly sanguine. Throbbing, pulsing, pumping, rushing, full, swollen, engorged with blood.” she stops to lick her lips. “So, I asked the computer to find me the biggest dick on the planet, and it took me to you.”

Smiling, she patted the ex-president on the head. “Oh don’t worry boy. I’m going to suck you dry.”


The images used to create the image in this post were edited and used without seeking permission. I believe their use falls under fair use. If they are yours, and you feel their use is inappropriate; please contact me and let me know.

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